First of all, I hate myself for being stupid all the time. I let everyone getting over me and I just follow like a lost puppy. Shit I hate that situation. Actually I got some problem with my life. I hate my studies. I don’t know why I’m still going on with it. I really hate this course! Can someone tell me why? I want to cook. I want to be best chef in the world. But it was only just a dream now. My life, nothing much to say. I love my family, but the problem is me. I don’t know why I preferred to do something that can make me sick. Before this I done so many thing, some people call it stunt like the jack ass does. But the real is, it is not same like what they do. It is something bad. We smoke without the filter. We do so many bongs. Take panadol with coke. Mixing coke with some coffee. And anything else. Hm. I don’t know why we doing all this shit actually. Now I suffer something bad due to what I have done. But none of the people that closed to me know any of these problems. My health is not in a really good condition. I barely to walk for a long period. Last day I have a date with my love, then time we walk for the whole day and I have not sleep yet. My body tired but I do it because my girl needs me at that time. I know that I won’t disappoint her. She took a long journey just to see me. I really appreciate that sayang. So sorry for not telling you this by myself. I just don’t want you to get worried about me. I will tell you someday, maybe after you read my blog. And the last problem is that I can’t stop thinking about what will happen to me and her. I really love her but I don’t know why she still can’t accept me in her life. It’s okay sayang. I’m not pointing at you. But I need you to know that I will always love you. And I will always need you to be in my life. I really need someone. I hope it is you because I really love you. I still remember holding you in my arm. Hug you for the whole day. Hm. I really miss that moment with you. I want to be with you for the whole day in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life just to hold you in my arm. I love you sayang. Just I got so many problem that hardly to share with you because you also facing about lot of problem right? I hope one day I can tell all this to you. Don’t worry about me sayang. But one thing that I really want to know is, do you really love me? I mean just me? Even if you still not accept me yet, but do you really love me? Only me in your life? But why I see someone getting words ‘IMISSYOU’ from you? Why are you calling him ‘DEAR’? I’m so sorry for being jealous. But I need to know either you really love me or someone else? Because I really love you sayang. No one else except you sayang. I need you.
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